Jan 21 2008

Joy: Shifting to Meet the Unshiftable

Published by Painter of Blue at 7:24 pm under Making Art, Illness, Spiritual Path, Guidance, Healing

One day seven years ago I found myself saying to myself — I can’t live where I want to — I can’t go where I want to go–I can’t do what I want to — I can’t even say what I want to –….I decided I was a very stupid fool not to at least paint as I wanted to.
-Georgia O’Keeffe

I haven’t posted this week because I’ve been feeling at a bit of a loss. I’ve finished a major cycle in my life. I have a wonderful trip coming up, but for these 2 weeks, I’m stuck in my home. Basically, I can’t go out because it’s so cold. It’s felt like a prison and I’ve been fed up like I’ve had enough. I’m turning 40 later this year and my life is nothing like what I imagined it would be.

Then I realized that I’m expecting my external world to change and make it all better. I’ve spent about 18 years of my life moving every year or two, always searching for a new situation that would make things better for me. It took illness to knock me flat on my back and stop me from running. I was forced to engage my interior world and I saw that my problems stayed the same in each move, only their faces changed. But my illness could not be changed by running, so I had to shift myself to meet it otherwise I could not have gone on with my life. I know I would have died years ago.

Now I’m back in the same place: the fact of winter, at least for now, can not be changed. I’m here with two precious weeks and all I can think of is getting away from the cold. I’ve stopped painting and writing and lost sight of the fact that this is Divine will; this time is a Divine gift. I must turn inward to mine for the gold. By shifting within myself, I can find the joy here even in what feels like a (temporary) prison.

I haven’t made any art since my operation so tonight I’m picking up my pen again. Tomorrow I’ll post a photo of my work. Who knows what it will be? See I’ve already found some adventure in my own home…. I live for adventure. It is my joy.

Work cures everything.
-Matisse

——————————————————–
A new practice: I will end each post with 3 things I am grateful for on this day:

1) My husband
2) It was a sunny day
3) I finally saw the Divine message in my situation

6 Responses to “Joy: Shifting to Meet the Unshiftable”

  1. # Sue O'Kieffeon 22 Jan 2008 at 7:07 am

    i have a little something for you at my blog. please stop by
    ~sue okieffe

  2. # Markon 22 Jan 2008 at 8:05 am

    Thank you for sharing your experience of turning 40 - please drop by www.turning40.net to see how others are facing this life milestone.

    I’d like to share your post with my readers - is that ok?

    Best,

    Mark

  3. # Painter of Blueon 22 Jan 2008 at 8:16 am

    Thanks Sue, I’ll check it out.

    Mark- You have a great site! Please feel free to share my post.

  4. # dreaminginthedeepsouthon 22 Jan 2008 at 7:05 pm

    I laughed when I read:

    “I’m turning 40 later this year and my life is nothing like what I imagined it would be.”

    I think that this is a magnificent place to be. Then , you get to stop living the life that you had imagined, and the life that IS shines forth.

    Isn’t that better than imaginary life?

  5. # Epiphany Girl (Marisa)on 27 Jan 2008 at 6:25 am

    Dear Painter,
    I have been avoiding the writing world for my own reasons over the last week, but it is so nice to be back and get in touch with your words again. Everyone who slips from the creative process must fear an inability to mine that internal, divine gold. But isn’t it always the most brilliant surprise that such inspiration and energy waits for us all the time?
    May you be warmed by the eternal fires of free flowing expression of the beauty that glows within you.

  6. # debraannon 27 Jan 2008 at 5:06 pm

    I’m so glad I saw your work of today before I read your entry. I know that you are on the road back. Blessings and happiness and good health on your journey.

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